New season, new league. After a badly needed restructure of the leagues, this season finds Thirsk II’s in the YNE Moor and Dale Men’s Division 1. It is difficult to decipher what all that means but the name suggests it is a very high level; befitting of a team that trounced all comers last season.

New league but same old ground - the first game saw us away at Huntington against City of York VI. Whereas in previous visits the foes had been York’s VIII and IX, this year promises to be a tougher challenge as we compete against the VI and VII.

It has been said here before that a lot can be learned about the opposition from their warm up. As the experienced Thirsk team ambled around indolently, catching up after the summer break and sharing holiday snaps whilst politely tapping a ball to each other, the opposition were putting in some hard yards. This was clearly not going to be an easy game.

Phil Bell and keeper Joe Davis discussed the merits of Bicarbonate of Soda V Persil Bio before the game started, as the rest of the team assembled at the centre circle for 2 minutes in remembrance of Queen Elizabeth II.

The game commenced and for the first two minutes Thirsk did not get a touch, as the opponents sprayed the ball around the pitch confidently, though without making much progress. After an interception the ball was moved forward quickly to Will and Ben up front. This is a good partnership, and passes between them had the home defence spinning on their heels. Thirsk went close but no cigar. This was Harrison’s first return to Huntington after the game early last season, when having pulled all-nighter, raving in Manchester, he missed bed and went straight to the game. He looked a bit sharper this time!

Moments later Will and Ben were at it again, but this time Mr Norman slotted home.

Jonathan Towesdale made a strong and confident start at the back in his first game for the club, having been a record signing from the Yorkists (6 figures is the rumour). Some of York players were asking why he was playing for our II’s? None taken!!!!!! Fifteen minutes in, Johnny had his first foray forward. He picked up the ball on the right, near the twenty-five, beat three players and hit a screamer from the right edge of D. The left post was hit with such force it buckled, and the ball ricocheted in and through the back of the net. 0-2. An early contender for goal of the season.

Ben Harrison got the first of several green cards and spent 2 minutes on the side. His first offence was chelping. Ben spent so much time on the bench for his various misdemeanours, at full time poor Capt. Laking had to use his own eyebrow tweezers to remove splinters from his arse.

York did not lie down and continued to apply pressure, but without making too many chances. Don ‘The Don’ Petty was assured at left back, and Pickford was equally solid on the right.

Shortly before half time Johnathon Craske made it 3, with a fine finish from the left.

The Laking half time team talk was as memorable as ever, though it is difficult to recall any specifics at the time of writing.

We had a chat from Phil Bell about why he kept passing the ball in to areas where no one was standing; which was an interesting lesson.

Phil then resumed his conversation with Joe Davis about the advantages of using bicarbonate of soda. Joe was so enthralled he forgot to go back on the pitch for the second half. Eventually he sprinted towards his goal, dropping bits of pad and glove behind him as he ran. The York spectators were aghast - how could they be 0 - 3 down to this shower?

The second half was very even with York continuing to have good spells. Thirsk created numerous chances but could not capitalise. The Thirsk midfield of Hughes, Bell, Laking and Fred Hunt were dominant, but York did break through in number on occasions, and went close. Eventually they pulled one back.

Laking was in outstanding form in his very very white new trainers. He was seeing the hockey ball as big as a football. At least we assumed that is why he kept kicking it.

Fred Hunt, after a year out, made a lot of good ground down the right to supply Will and Ben.

Ben got sent off again.

Had York scored a second, Thirsk could well have been rocking. When the old foe, Hogg, was clear through on goal it looked like they would be back in the game. But Davis was off his line quick as a flash cleared the ball with a powerful hoof.

Confusingly, the York forward was not his usual angry self in this game, and may be the irascible Hogg of old would have got the goal. Sporting a new sharp haircut for the start of the season, he played with a smile. There’s a nice guy in there, fighting to get out.

The game ended as Phil and Joe settling on giving the pads a long soak in bicarb of soda, then a 30 degree wash (gentle cycle) with Persil Bio to freshen things up and add a nice floral perfume.

Final score was 1 - 3
Man of the Match - Jonathan Trowesdale

I leave you with the last line of the match report from 4/12/21:

“Away from the heat of battle, Hogg might actually be a very nice man.”